BETCHA CAN’T DO IT AGAIN
Getting to the promised land is only half the battle.
It may surprise you to learn that this witchy ass Black girl you been following, first of her name, breaker of generational curses, reverer of ancestors, orisha, loa, abasoms etc., sprinkler of fairy dust and finder of loopholes, spent a lot of time with the Bible as a child. It’s where I found peace.
I’d like to say it’s cause the Bible was the only book in my house — it wasn’t. Or my mother was some strict Bibliophile who only let me read biblical works — she gave me a strong faith based foundation and I listened to the Bible before bed with her; but I’m an Aquarian Millenial, I don’t do shit just cause.
The Bible brought me peace because it contained these magnificent human stories : of triumph and tragedy; hubris and remorse; trickery and intelligence.
I learned you could be anointed for a destiny and hating ass folk will try to keep you from it but what God has for you, can’t no one — no matter how threatening — take it from you.
I learned the fastest way to get in your own way was by being impatient and not waiting on the appointed time.
And I learned no matter how dark the night or how far from grace you fell; all it took was one moment of grace and joy would come that morning.
And those stories comfort me to this day. Which is why when I awoke in cold sweat at the prospect of reaching my destination (I’m after a book deal that’ll change the world), I recalled my favorite passage: Joshua 1:1–5.
Now this was just after Moses died, and Joshua had spent 40 years in the damn dessert 3 feet from the gold cause the people around him didn’t believe that the God who could make a column of fire to keep Egypt off they ass could handle something like political establishment. I guess they thought it was a cross-disciplinary thing . So this cat, who followed Moses, kept the commandments and straight up said: I don’t know ‘bout y’all but I saw the fucking fire column and sea splitting thing, I think I’mma bet on this God character, I got a good feeling. Oh and my family gone do it too (“as for me and my house we shall serve the lord” Joshua 24:15).
So my boy Joshua gets a message from the plague wielding, sea splitting, fire raining diety that says: Bro it’s time, y’all been fucking around too long. Get yo shit and come on. Also don’t be scared cause there’s go be some scary shit but I got you bro, don’t even worry bout it. Did I mention I got you? (Joshua 1:1–5).
And Joshua does as he’s told and has an event filled reign as one of Israel’s first judges. And you know what, that God character didn’t lie; they really had him.
So why am I giving you a hood sermon on this great getting up morning?
Because you think where you are is your resting place. And it’s not. One day you will breakthrough your barriers and you will make it to the other side of victory. And on that day a lil voice is gone pop up in your ear and whisper:
Betcha can’t do it again.
Sheeeit, you got lucky last time, that wasn’t you.
Try again but do it harder cause you need to prove your worth it.
And I’mma tell you right now: Resist the urge to prove yourself.
Who you are is who you were meant to be because a series of events and choices conspired to bring you to this point. Don’t let anyone (or ego) try to convince you you gotta prove you belong in that motherfucker (read: at your destination).
Just keep doing the work (your purpose) and serving the Lord (whatever divine presence you honor that got you there), cause they got you. You weren’t chosen because you were special, you were chosen cause you were stubborn enough to show the fuck up and out. Don’t let no one try to gaslight you into believing otherwise.
You that only C student in the room? You belong there, make room for others.
You the only drop of oil in a sea of milk? You belong there, make room for others.
You the only pussy in a room of pissing snakes? You belong there, make room for others.
You the first of your name? YOU BELONG IN THAT BITCH CAUSE YOU DID THAT SHIT, NOW MAKE ROOM FOR OTHERS.
Don’t get caught in that ego shit. Our only job while we are alive is to live with purpose and use that purpose to carve out a foothold for those who come after us — that’s it.
Don’t let anyone steal your peace by making you think you gotta prove why the foothold you carved is the right one.
Carve that bitch, and if they paying attention they’ll figure it out with they hating asses.
In short: FUCK IMPOSTOR SYNDROME.
If you in that bitch, you belong there.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m finna take my own advice.